In the middle of our busy, everyday lives, it’s easy to forget that what our children need most from us is simply connection and presence.I have highlighted the importance of both in many of my writings. Today, my intention is to share how we can implement them easily in our daily lives, based on my years of experience.
One of the most effective ways to make children feel our presence is by truly listening to what they have to say their happiness, sadness, or even their worries. When I first learned this, I tried sitting with them and asking what they would like to share about their day at school or anything else on their minds. The funny thing was, most of the time they barely said anything and wanted to do something else. That made me wonder, how should I really interact with them?
So, I started observing them more carefully to understand how connection naturally happens. What I noticed was eye-opening: children often share their thoughts and feelings at the most unexpected and “inconvenient” times, right in the middle of doing homework, when I’m busy with a chore, or even during the morning rush before school.
Before this realization, I was quite firm about not allowing interruptions during homework or when I was occupied. But later, I understood that this approach wouldn’t help them feel safe or connected to me. Now, I try to listen with patience whenever they are eager to share something.
Of course, there still needs to be balance. If they talk continuously and avoid their responsibilities, that’s not helpful either. So, we take small breaks in between tasks to listen and connect. In those moments, they also feel special when I express how I feel about them.
At its core, communication is one of the most powerful ways to build connection.
I’ve also noticed that my children communicate best with me while I am teaching them. So, I try to meet them where they are. You can do the same observe your child’s preferences and find what works for them.
From my experience, this sometimes feels like magic. As a mother of three, it’s not always possible to sit with each child individually after a long, busy day. But by being present in these small, everyday moments, I can connect with them meaningfully while managing my responsibilities.
Our children don’t need perfect parents; they simply need us to be present, to make them feel seen, heard, and safe.
Faizah Abdullah
#thedailyparent
#breakinggenerationalcycles
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